Sometimes I get bored and try to think up new items and equipment for the TTRPG campaign I run every other weekend. Some of the ideas are useful. Others are deeply questionable. These are the ones that probably should not be allowed anywhere near a real campaign.
The original images in this post were created with the Wonder AI app.
Bad equipment is only part of the problem. I have also created 16 ridiculous fantasy monsters that probably should not exist.
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Burrito of Doom
I came up with the concept of a magical food item sold to mercenaries and adventurers. When eaten, it would feed the character for six days. However, the character would need to make a Constitution/Endurance save/check each day to see if they have to “fertilize the garden.”
When I tried generating an image of the Burrito of Doom, I got this nifty result. It made me think differently. Maybe the burrito could be used as a projectile weapon that wraps itself around its victim and tries to consume them.
Both concepts are disturbing.
Helping Hands
So I was thinking, wouldn’t it be cool to have a pair of magical hands to help you? Like Thing from The Addams Family, but a matching pair. They would work for two days before fading away. It’s a cool concept, but I ultimately had to ask myself, “Would you really want to give your players an extra pair of semi-sentient magical hands?”
Naaahhhh!
The Amazing Mostly Floating Tent
This magical tent mostly floats three feet above the ground—or water. Its floor will not rip and cannot be cut from underneath. The problem is that “mostly floating” leaves a lot of room for a game master to ruin everyone’s night.
Goblet of Questionable Liquids
This item is both a curse and a blessing. It can be activated once a day and produces one random liquid. Roll 1d100 to find out what comes out. Most of the possibilities are drinkable spirits, but dish soap, magma and acid are also on the list. The goblet itself is immune to every liquid it produces and is virtually indestructible. The person holding it may not be so lucky.
You will need plenty of dice to determine whether the goblet produces something useful or something that melts the table. Here are some of my favorite unique dice sets for D&D and tabletop games.
And if one of those dice rolls magma, this little dice jail gives you somewhere to put the offender until it learns its lesson.
D&D Dice Jail
A miniature time-out chair with a dunce hat for punishing dice that refuse to cooperate. It works with standard polyhedral dice and makes a funny tabletop accessory or gift for a D&D player.
Oversized Helmet of Helmeting
This obscene helmet is somehow extremely effective. It gives the wearer a bonus to armor class without reducing mobility or vision. Unfortunately, it is so large and ridiculous that nobody wearing it will ever be taken seriously again.
These imaginary items probably should not be allowed anywhere near a campaign. A proper bag for carrying your books, dice and other gaming supplies is a much safer choice.
Tabletop D&D Messenger Bag
A tabletop gaming messenger bag with room for RPG books, binders, dice and other accessories. It also has a 17-inch laptop compartment and straps for carrying a rolled battle map.
Looking for more tabletop ideas that are slightly less likely to destroy your campaign? Browse the rest of the TTRPG posts on Lilli Digest.